When God Says “No”

Nobody enjoys being told “no,” just ask the child who wants to eat dessert right before dinnertime. Regardless of who we are, we all want certain things, or to do certain things, and when we’re told that we can’t, we can get unhappy. For the child at least, they will come to understand the why behind not eating dessert before dinner. But what about those of us who are older? What happens when it’s not a parent saying no, but God? What happens when the why isn’t necessarily shown to us right away?

It always strikes me as funny that we associate “yes” with “answered prayer.” Let me give you an example: You’ve been praying on something for weeks or months, and when someone asks you for an update on that situation, you may say something like: “Why won’t God answer me” or, “ I’m waiting for God to answer me.” All the while, we neglect the obvious possibility that maybe your prayer has not come to pass because God said no!

It’s always frustrating when God chooses to answer your prayer with a “no.” But I want to offer you two quick reminders to help us when this happens.

Trust That God is Committed to Your Joy

I often say that God is more committed to your happiness and joy than you are. What I mean by that is that God knows what is going to bring you lasting peace, joy, comfort, and rest. He knows what will grow you into a mature believer, strong and firm in Him. Therefore, God is going to say no to certain things because He knows what is best for us. Does a loving parent say yes to all of their child’s desires? By no means! A caring parent will say no to the things that appear good to a child, but would actually harm them. 

Romans 8:28, a verse used to help navigate difficulties in the Christian life, often gets misconstrued. We take it to mean God ordains certain tragedies or pains in order to bring about His plans and our good. And while at times God can allow bad things to happen so that we mature, what the verse is actually getting at is that God is for you! So when God says no to something we ask, even if we really really want it and it seems to be a good thing, we can trust that God is looking out for us, knows what’s best, and is way more committed to our joy than we are. 

Trust in the Promises of Scripture

Hear the words of Scripture:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. – Psalm 145:18

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  – Philippians 4:6-7

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. – Jeremiah 29:12-13

The Lord is far from the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous. – Proverbs 15:29

Across the pages of Scripture, there is not only the mentioning of prayer, but the encouragement of it! God desires to hear from you. God wants us to bring our requests to Him. There is no promise of a “yes” to all of them, but nevertheless God wants us to ask and to pray to Him. Take comfort that the Lord is never burdened by your requests, never bothered or annoyed, but rather joyful when we “boldly approach the throne of grace.” 

Conclusion

It’s a hard truth to accept, but God will tell us no when we pray for certain things. When that happens, what is your attitude towards Him? Do you pout and get angry, or do you trust God and thank Him for answering, even when it’s not the answer you wanted? When we pull away from God and leave because we get a no, then we don’t love God, we love what we can get out of God. He was our vending machine, not our Lord.

The age old saying that “hindsight is 20/20” rings true. Looking back, I’m so grateful that God told me no on certain things. I’m so thankful to have a Heavenly Father that is looking out for me. I’m thankful that not only does He want to hear my requests, He loves me enough to tell me no.

I leave you with this: in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prayed and begged all night for God to not have Him go to the cross. But what did Jesus say at the end of the prayer? “Not My will, but Yours must be done.” May we approach God with that same attitude of prayer. May we say things like, “God, I pray and ask for You to answer this prayer according to my will and my desire, and if You do, thank You so much. But, what I ultimately want is Your will to be done. Please answer according to Your will, not mine.”

May we pray to God and thank Him for every answer that He gives us, whether it be yes or no.